"Got A Smiling Addiction"

Alkaline Trio's "This Addiction" would have been more appropriate but did not exist within the player files: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=e7fJincn4Yg

Those who know me well know I've battled an addiction with caffeine. Those who are following me on bodybuilding.com know I've had a lot of progress in getting off the pills and stopping the drinking of caffeine containing beverages. Let me tell you though, today I felt really worn down and had to have one of my caffeine pills that also contain theanine. I needed a pick-me-up like no other! Normally I have "a smiling addiction" throughout my days, but this last week I've been cranky with everyone!

I have a lot to be excited for, and I know I am just under a lot of pressure and stress right now. There are several things that get to me on a daily basis that I shouldnt allow to happen. Many thanks to Tammy this morning for reminding me that I am appreciated for the work that I do, Brian for admitting that he knows I'm underpaid, and Meryl for just being you. Thank you to my Mr. Incredible, though I don't know if you read this or not, but you calm me in my storms even if I don't show it. I cannot wait for vacation!

For much too long I've had "a smiling addiction." It shines on the world to cover up the feelings on the inside. Recently, as the inside feelings were showing their heads, I found myself back at the medicine cabinet to feed my dying smile, to "say goodbye to all [my] pain and feel alive. The feeling [was] gone. [I] had [the] feel of [my] heart in mind; it’s but a gift for the leading blind. Why should we change when we’ve got no will?"

Wait a match-stricking-the-box moment; I'm already on fire! I've got will. This will has some serious training to do! This will managed to give Mr. Incredible the flight he was searching for. This will is going to keep me away from caffeine, except for that which is consumed prior to heavy lifting. I will escape the grasps of this addiction. Smile or not, I will not find myself looking like the smiling man on the youtube.com video! "Everything will be just fine."

Much love to you all!

Song for today: "Smiling Addiction" by The Wright Brothers