God's been doing amazing things in my life this week. With work I feel like I finally am getting a foot in the door, or maybe at least a toe. In relation to family, I had an unexpected visitor Monday at work that opened my eyes wide with a curiosity and interest I have not had for quite some time in this Michigan world of mine. And, running into a familiar 'Gator' led me straight into a conversation about my faith.
Enter "One Quantum Leap At A Time."
I've needed at break at work; I've just wanted someone to understand how far I've come in three years and give me a chance. I haven't had the best of times there. I haven't had my interests focused while finishing college. I've been stressed juggling it all, trying to keep everyone happy except myself. Now that I've nursed myself back to feeling well, I feel that desire again that I've lost over the long months... several dozen of them.
Months working on the fitness piece.
There's really no understanding to the fight I've had to maintain to not walk out away from my dreams, and I except complete fault for getting caught up in finishing college rather than developing my career. I'm at that point where I've had enough, and it's either all or nothing. Well, I finally got something; my toe caught in the door I've been wanting to enter. A new battle begins, I know, to fit one more thing in my crazy schedule. But, this is the ticket; this is my 'in.' No understanding comes from the ones who I want it from, but it's now that I can prove myself to the ones who can help make my dreams a reality.
Reality. Enter family.
My unexpected visitor came up to me with what might as well have been beaming lights down upon her. She glowed with excitement, and I was attracted to it. That's when she asked if I were... she said my name! Sure am THAT GAL! She then asked if I was the daughter of... she said my dad's name. [Oh how I miss him.] Soon enough we were a conversation that played like a racquetball game. Apparently a cousin to my father, I was absorbed in every word this woman had to say, in every question she asked. She said my grandmother's name. [Oh how I miss her.] And when this magnificent woman had to leave, I wanted her to stay so we could continue to share conversation, build a bond, and reunite corners of our family in my brain that I am still unaware of at this point in life. I was touched, and the rest of the day I felt some of her beam in every one of my smiles.
Beam. Rays of light. Enter faith.
I've had my share of close friends who have studied the Bible most of their lives. I'm not one who likes to be told what to do and especially what to believe. I have my faith in a God, and I don't want to be preached to by acquaintances. But, I ran into Steve 'Gator.' This guy is amazing. First of all, anyone who is near twice my age and recognizes and personally, verbally compliments me on my muscular figure while I'm at my 'office job' and engages in conversation with me about fitness instantly wins my attention. Not seeing 'Gator' in months and then recognizing his face and direct eye contact left us in one LONG conversation that dropped me right into being talked to about my religious involvement.
Enter the body of Sara.
I burn my candle at both ends. I work myself ridiculously hard for having been a student in college for eight years. I feel like I may have wasted a lot of time and money and now torture myself to pay my debts, but this makes me who I am today. My dad was the best role model I had, and he worked himself to death. I remember days he would come home from work and just lie out on the porch step. I wish it weren't winter, because I would love to go back there right now and just lie on that same porch step. I would like to rest this burnt out candle.
If it weren't for Drew spoiling with flowers repeatedly, I don't know if I would ever stop to smell them. I have been living to work and not working to live. This is why that first step in the door is so important, even if it means I have to wedge my big toe in first. This is why the reminder of family, and those who have NEVER turned their back on me when other family members have, is so important. This is why bringing me back to "faith as the backbone of the manner I live" is so important. It is at this time, when my health is good, my relationships are great, and my faith is present that my spirit feels alive and knows that May flowers are on their way.
Now is the season for April showers.
Lord, cleanse me of what I do not need, bring to life what has lied dormant, and renew my spirit in full.
"Come spark the parts in me that all but died/Jump start my heart and wake the sleeper inside" - lyrics from Toby Mac's song "Ignition" ... "It's RIDE or die!"
Comic for this weekend: (Oh how I love Michigan weather!)
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